Surviving Everything Life Throws at You

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I'd love to help you get vulnerable.

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Let's get naked.

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Hey everyone, I'm Anne.

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Welcome to the let's Get Naked podcast, where we dive deep into vulnerability.

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In this space, we'll explore what triggers us, uncover the patterns holding us back and discover how to take charge of our own growth.

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If you're ready to dig in, be vulnerable and face the tough stuff, then buckle up.

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It's time to get naked.

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Do you know what it's like to fight for your life before you're even old enough to figure out who you are?

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Because she does.

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While her peers were out building futures, chasing dreams and posting carefully curated snapshots of their joy, she was facing cancer, the kind of diagnosis that cracks your world in half, the kind that doesn't give a damn how young you are or what plans you had.

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It wasn't just the disease or the treatment, or the never-ending cycle of being poked, prodded, or the treatment or the never-ending cycle of being poked, prodded and told to stay strong.

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It was the silence between doctor's appointments, the fear no one could see.

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The way people tiptoed around her made her feel like a walking tragedy or, worse, completely disappeared because her pain was too heavy for their comfort.

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But cancer was just one chapter.

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Her fight didn't start there.

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It started with something quieter, something more invisible, but just as deadly anorexia.

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And here's the brutal truth that struggle is so often encouraged when you're a young woman Shrinking is applauded, restraint is seen as control.

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Skipping meals, so disciplined, losing weight, you look amazing, all while the voice in your head is telling you that your value is tied to how little you take up, that you are more lovable, more acceptable, more together, the more you disappear.

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No one talks about how exhausting it is to live in a body you're constantly at war with, to feel proud of hunger like it's an achievement, to fear food, to fear recovery because it feels like failure to convince the world you're fine when your mind is screaming.

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And beneath all that is the whirlwind of bipolar disorder, slamming between highs that feel like flying too close to the sun and lows that feel like drowning in cement.

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Then there's anxiety, ever-present, whispering worst-case scenarios in her ear, like a broken record.

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Always running, always bracing, never resting.

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She never got to just be, to explore, to grow, to make mistakes the way other people do.

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She was fighting to stay here, fighting for a place in a world that constantly tried to shove her into boxes.

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Too sick, too sensitive, too emotional, too much.

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Our guest is a human being who has endured more than most people will in a lifetime.

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Today, we're stripping it off with Bracia Dover.

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Bracia is a relentless advocate for mental health, a cancer survivor and the powerhouse behind a growing boutique marketing agency in Arizona.

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At just 26, she's faced and conquered more than her fair share of mental and physical health challenges, but through it all, she's discovered the power of grit, resilience and storytelling.

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Whether she's sharing her journey on social media or bringing creative visions to life for brands, bracia is on a mission to make an impact, one honest conversation at a time.

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Welcome to the show, bracia, thank you.

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Yeah, welcome to the show, vresha.

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Thank you.

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Yeah, I'm so excited to have a conversation with you today because I think you're incredible, being 26 years old and being willing to really put your story out there.

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In the social climate that we have, which is so much judging and so much this gross stuff that kind of comes out with that, it takes a lot of bravery to stand up and say the things that you do.

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So I just wanted to say like kudos to you for sure for making that part of your message.

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Yeah, well, thank you for letting me be on this show and share my story and continually advocate and talk about things that matter to me.

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I'm excited to be here and dive a little bit into what I've been through and, yeah, I think sharing my story has really helped heal parts of me that I wouldn't have been able to help heal in myself otherwise, so I feel like that's been a very powerful tool for me.

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Agreed.

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I think being able to not have shame associated with whatever the ingredients are in your recipe right the things that just make up your story.

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I think it helps other people when they listen to that and say, shit, I'm going through that too, you know, and there's a path forward or there's a way out, or there's another side to that.

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I think it gives hope to people and so I just am so happy to have you here to share the conversation and, you know, let us know what your story looks like.

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So thank you, yeah, for sure.

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So start by telling us a little bit about kind of what your upbringing looked like.

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You know you can kind of sprinkle in where the different things happened as far as what age, and then we'll just kind of dive in from there.

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Yeah, so my upbringing well, I was born in Utah, which is obviously a very LDS Mormon-centered area of the US, and moved out to Arizona at an early age.

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I actually grew up in the Mormon church and I think that played a lot into some of my early challenges in life.

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But outside of religion, I had a really great upbringing.

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My parents loved each other.

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They still do.

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You know, I have two younger brothers and so I was the oldest.

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I've always been really creative.

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I've had a camera in my hand since I was little.

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I was getting my brothers to be on these video ideas I had and I started creating and sharing things on YouTube and just, I think at a young age, saw the power of storytelling and I just loved it.

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It was my outlet and I'm so grateful for it to this day.

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But, yeah, growing up was beautiful until it wasn't.

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And, yeah, so kind of I say, the catalyst or the start of my challenges started when I was in fifth grade and I fell off a 15 foot tall zip line and I landed in push-up position and broke both my arms and that was the beginning for me, which is a weird beginning.

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But after that I started experiencing like mental health challenges and eventually, you know, had my diagnosis of cancer.

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But it all kind of started after that zip line fall, and so you know, we're not sure if there was like a brain damage effect or you know, whatever could have happened during that big of a fall.

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But really that is kind of I.

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When I look at my story.

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That's like where the challenges started in my fifth grade when I fell off that zip line.

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So, yeah, but a little background on my childhood.

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Yeah, that was a scary, scary event, though Is your family still Mormon.

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It sounded a little bit like you.

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Maybe are not, but they are.

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Yeah, so we left the church when I was around 12 years 12, 13 years old as a family, a direct family, but all of our extended family on both sides is still LDS and actively practicing.

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So that was a really hard transition because, you know, I can't relate to most of my extended family now.

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We have a lot of surface level conversations, unfortunately, but yet the perfectionism that I'm trying to unlearn still in my life, I think, was instilled within me through the Mormon church church unfortunately.

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But yeah, I feel happy that I'm not a part of an organized religion now.

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I like support others who decide to go that route, but for me and I guess my personal family too it it doesn't work.

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So well, and I respect people that make those decisions instead of just blindly following.

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I think there's a lot of people out there that they're raised a certain way and so they just continue to go that way, whether it's individuals or a family, and so I commend people that say you know what?

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This doesn't resonate with me.

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We're going to go a different way and, like you said, kudos to anybody that wants to do whatever you want.

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It's consenting adults and everybody.

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Do your own thing.

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But I was raised in an organized religion as well and I same like it, just it did not land with me and my parents still stayed in that um going forward.

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But for me, as soon as I could get out of the house.

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I was out of the house because it was literally it just did not work for what really felt right for me and so, like you said, you're having to go back through all of these things that were really implemented into you, programmed into you from a young age.

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Because of that organized religion, there's a lot of shame and guilt and you know, like you said, perfectionism and things that you have to be this certain type of way that.

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I just think is really devastating to the human spirit you know, and so it's having to kind of unpack all of that and figure out what that looks like and get rid of some of those limiting beliefs that were dealt to you.

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It's powerful work, though right, because then you get.

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To do what resonates with you.

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Yeah, for sure, and good for you for finding what worked for you and listening to your own inner dialogue and voice, because it is hard to leave such an organized structure and religion and cultural background as well.

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So that does take a lot of courage.

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Yeah, for sure.

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So when?

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Okay, so you fell.

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What country were you in?

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You weren't in the US, were you?

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No, I was, yeah, I was.

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Was it zip lining?

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Yes, I was in, it was.

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Were you in?

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You weren't in the U?

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S, were you?

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No, I I was, yeah, I was.

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Was it zip lining?

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Yes, I wasn't.

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It was actually just in our neighbor's backyard, oh shit.

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Okay, we grew up on horse property and they had just a makeshift zip line in their backyard, so I guess I left that part out.

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But you're literally holding on to, like a handlebar, climbing up a ladder that's, you know, 15 feet tall and then you turn, you grab the bar and that's when my foot must've gotten caught in the ladder and I must've just fallen and I lost consciousness and kind of remember.

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The first thing I remember is, you know, waking up and you know my dad carrying me to the car and immediately taking me to the hospital and but but that looking back now, seems like that was like an easy chapter.

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You know, like I got to put some cast on my arms.

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I got, you know, kids signatures at school and like they signed my cast and I felt, you know, cool, I got a special typewriter to do my schoolwork on.

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But what's interesting about all of that is how much of a mental toll it took, because I realized that I couldn't control my arms.

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Like I couldn't.

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I was like a mummy kind of slinged up and I couldn't feed myself or bathe myself.

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And I'm lucky I hadn't started my period yet, because that would have been yeah gnarly, but, um, I just remember like my mom helping feed me and bathe me, and I think that's where the turn of events happened.

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Once I got my arms back, I was like, okay, I have control.

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What else?

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I craved, wanting to control more in my life, and that's when my eating disorder started.

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It manifested through wanting to control something At such a young age I was only in sixth grade, and this was a little while ago, so before social media and so it was really an eating disorder that stemmed from the need to control something versus the way I looked physically, which is so interesting.

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I agree with that.

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yeah, it's interesting when you describe having your arms in a cast and really what that looks like or feels like, because to me that plays into a whole mental component of almost claustrophobia right and not being able to really do what you wanted to do, and so then, when you did get those off and the control, that makes perfect sense to me, for some reason, where it's like you would crave being able to control whatever you could, because you were literally sitting kind of in this position for, I'm guessing, six weeks or however, long your casts were on with no control while your mind was reeling without having control over.

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I mean, your arms are the most important.

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Yeah, you know.

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Appendages that you have.

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So it's like okay, you can't do anything with those.

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Everyone has to take care of you Like.

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It makes perfect sense to me.

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Yeah, wow, thanks for validating that.

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Yeah, no for sure.

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Just did your tell me about your eating disorder?

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Did that?

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How long did that go on?

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Did your parents have any idea about that?

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Like you said, it happened kind of before social media was really big, so you probably didn't even have a lot of resources around that.

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We didn't talk about stuff before, which is why it's so important to talk about it now because people should understand that they can get help and that they should talk about things and that there's not shame associated with kind of being in this place where you did need control.

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Right, yeah.

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Well, my eating disorder really started kind of just by counting calories.

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Like I was like that's something I can easily monitor, and it was really not even limiting food initially.

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It was just like counting calories, initial introduction to incorporating exercise throughout.

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Everything I did, like if I was in school and sitting at my desk I would like lift my legs up and down to try to create movement.

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Or like if I went to a restaurant with my family I'd go to the bathroom and do some jumping jacks and just like these weird, subtle things that obviously in the moment I didn't realize I was doing because I had an eating disorder.

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I just was doing them because I'm like this is cool.

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I'm so young, I don't have much I can control in my world, but this makes sense to me, and so it, I mean, started progressively getting worse and worse, to where I was losing weight.

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I think my parents started picking up on that.

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I think they saw my obsessive, you know, questioning around how many calories is in this and you know, can we eat this tonight because it's healthier, or you know things like that.

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And I think the moment my parents found out and realized that something was wrong was they went to see a therapist themselves and talk about, like their challenges and their concerns about me and she just said you know, it really sounds like your daughter has a typical eating disorder, anorexia and she's like I'm going to give you this book.

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And my mom took the book and that night she she always she tells me the story about how she read the book and looked over at my dad and just had tears in her eyes and just said Brisha is sick and we need to get her help.

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And like I was so young and this was over 10 years ago, before there was really eating disorder clinics for young girls, and so they had no idea where to start.

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I had no idea where to start and we ended up starting with therapy for me, seeing a nutritionist trying to just take a gentle route to helping me get better, and nothing was working.

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So I ended up eventually kind of needing to be an inpatient, kind of needing to be, uh, inpatient at a.

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I was at Phoenix Children's Hospital and I mean, it was a long road to get there, but once I was there I desperately needed help and um, so yeah, I spent, um, I spent Christmas Eve when I was a little girl, in Phoenix Children's Hospital and in the, you know, psychiatric unit and it was really scary.

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You know, that was the.

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That was the first time that I had been exposed to something like that and I just think, you know, being so young and just thinking you're doing something good for yourself and then letting it spiral into something this big was really scary.

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So yeah, so yeah, got out of control, yeah.

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Yeah, literally it's so interesting that you're sitting here because I have a 25-year-old daughter and we dealt with some stuff that was very similar to what you're talking about, and so listening to you talk about it from your perspective is helping me heal a little bit, just because it's so scary as the mom of somebody that you know, we were also at Phoenix Children's and then did some outpatient stuff or inpatient stuff I guess, but you feel so helpless you know, and it's like how can I help her?

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But you're looking at all of these things where the behaviors that you're talking about and the, the control and the obsessive, that doesn't just you don't just say like, oh, I'm not going to do that anymore, that's literally spidered into your entire life.

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And so, as you are starting to kind of heal that with whatever modalities, you are starting to kind of heal that with whatever modalities you are, that's a lot of work and I'm sure you unearthed all sorts of things while you were doing that to kind of figure things out.

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What did that look like as far as just the recovery for that?

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Did that go on for a long time, like what did that look like?

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So I was eventually discharged from Phoenix Children's Hospital after New Year's, discharged from Phoenix Children's Hospital after New Year's, and I kind of spiraled again.

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And I remember, before things got really out of hand again, my dad looking at me and just being like you know, bracia, before we go back home, are, are you gonna be able to get a hold of this?

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Like is this, are you gonna get better?

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And I was like, yeah, like that's my plan.

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And I actually started kind of falling in love with horses during this time and my parents saw that that was kind of the one thing that brought me joy during all of this.

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And so they put me in horse riding lessons in an area near our home and I really my goal was to like get back around the horses.

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So I knew I had to eat more and like try to get better so I could be around the horses, but couldn't get, you know, well enough to get to that point.

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So I ended up going to Denver Children's Hospital, which had a specialized eating disorder clinic for younger boys and girls, and spent time there.

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Kind of same story all over again.

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And ultimately my dad was like what would help you?

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Like what is going to help you.

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Bracia and my aunt and uncle have a ranch in Cody Wyoming and he just saw how much I loved being around horses and he talked to the doctors that I was seeing and he said look, I you know, nothing's working.

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We're not getting anywhere with Bracia's eating disorder.

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What if we give her the opportunity to go to Wyoming, be around horses and see if she can get better from there?

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And they were like no, don't do that bad idea.

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But he went against their recommendations and I ended up spending a summer in Cody Wyoming and fell in love with this horse named Blue and he like I didn't think this was possible until I met him, but I feel like he literally took my eating disorder away from me and, um, he's no longer with me but like just being around him and I think about him pretty much every day and I feel like he's kind of my guardian angel looking out for me.

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But he is.

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I think we helped each other and I really believe in life is to have a place for girls to come to and facilitate that with horses and a safe space, and so horses is what healed me throughout my journey with my eating disorder.

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That's so beautiful that you say that he took that from you, because I really believe that equine therapy is so big it's.

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It's there's such beautiful, amazing creatures that there's something about being around them that's so calming and so peaceful and just being able to really connect on on that level.

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That's incredible.

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Yeah, it is.

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It really is beautiful.

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There's I mean, I've seen like so many quotes about this, but like a little girl and a horse, the connection there is so strong and there are these huge, powerful animals that could step on you and hurt you, but they don't.

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They're really sensitive to your emotions and they can feel your energy.

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So it's really beautiful.

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They can yeah.

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Okay, so that's excellent.

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That worked for you to be able to have that, and lovely that your dad was willing to go against what they were telling him and really listen to his own gut, to say this is what we're going to do.

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More people need to be like that.

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I think a lot of times we have people that kind of go through life like zombies and they're just doing whatever they're told, and it's like we're meant to kind of go through life like zombies and they're just doing whatever they're told, and it's like we're meant to kind of like feel in our spirits what feels like the right thing, right.

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And as your dad, he's your protector, he's the one that's supposed to be helping guide you or your parents.

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Right.

00:22:54.411 --> 00:23:03.617
So, then, being able to make that decision, even though it wasn't maybe the popular one, or maybe it was going against what they were recommended to, but that's, that's powerful stuff.

00:23:06.690 --> 00:23:06.789
It is.

00:23:06.789 --> 00:23:24.220
Yeah, I feel really grateful and fortunate to have the parents I have, because they I mean they never looked at me like I was weird or different throughout any of my mental health challenges and I'm sure we'll talk about you know my other experiences but they always were just trying to help.

00:23:24.721 --> 00:23:56.432
And our whole family is just huge mental health advocates because of my challenges, my brother's challenges, my dad, I mean we've all had our fair share of mental health challenges, and so we just are open books and we just share our stories however we can, I think that's so important in families, especially because that's supposed to be your safe space, so to be able to have that be where your mom shares her struggles with you, or, vice versa, that you so that you don't feel so isolated, because everybody does have different things that they're dealing with.

00:23:56.511 --> 00:24:01.171
You know, I was not a person that really dealt with that when I was growing up.

00:24:01.171 --> 00:24:04.635
I had a whole my own pile of bullshit, but it didn't have to do with that.

00:24:04.635 --> 00:24:16.361
And so when I was dealing with that with my own kids, I'm like I don't know anything about all of this, you know, and so gathering the information and being able to talk about stuff, I think is the most important thing of just.

00:24:16.361 --> 00:24:43.742
You know, tell me and I've gotten better about that as I've gotten, you know, further in life I had kids very young, so I wasn't like the best one to be, like, hey, let me figure it out, I was just trying to keep the wheels on you know and so but I think that open communication and that being able to talk with one another, especially in your families, about the different struggles that you have, without shame, without guilt, without a lot of those things that unfortunately come with a lot of these types of things, yeah, it's important.

00:24:46.769 --> 00:24:47.472
Yeah, for sure, I agree with that.

00:24:47.492 --> 00:24:48.015
Your folks live in Arizona?

00:24:48.015 --> 00:24:50.483
Well, actually, no, they live in Mexico now.

00:24:50.503 --> 00:24:52.130
Oh okay, full time, oh, good for them.

00:24:52.430 --> 00:24:56.617
Yeah, the Baja, and they're doing real estate out there.

00:24:56.617 --> 00:25:14.557
They're loving life and I guess on the day we're recording this episode they are in town today, but they, um, they come to see us because my brothers and I all still live in Arizona, so they come to town to visit sometimes, but they're empty nesters just living their life in Mexico.

00:25:14.557 --> 00:25:16.843
I love that so much, my youngest is 18.

00:25:16.930 --> 00:25:21.590
He's getting ready to move out, move on with his life, and it's just like, oh, this is going to be so much fun.

00:25:21.791 --> 00:25:23.915
A new chapter begins.

00:25:23.915 --> 00:25:26.039
Yeah, yeah, awesome yeah.

00:25:26.119 --> 00:25:29.833
Okay, so what age were you when you went, when you were in Wyoming for the summer?

00:25:30.615 --> 00:25:35.603
I I think I was around like 12 or 13.

00:25:35.603 --> 00:25:47.344
I we had already started leaving the Mormon church and once the chapter of my eating disorder was closed out, I really got into riding horses.

00:25:47.344 --> 00:25:48.546
I did rodeoing.

00:25:48.546 --> 00:25:57.094
I gave horse riding lessons to girls in our neighborhood and, like just loved, loved being around horses.

00:25:57.094 --> 00:26:05.336
Eventually, when I got into high school, you know, we had to sell the horses because I was just too busy with school and events.

00:26:05.336 --> 00:26:09.403
I was the only one in my family who knew how to take care of the horses.

00:26:09.403 --> 00:26:11.489
They're expensive to keep.

00:26:11.489 --> 00:26:15.361
I actually ended up selling Blue.

00:26:15.361 --> 00:26:24.902
I remember watching him with his new owners driving away, just tears coming down and just wishing I could have kept him.

00:26:24.902 --> 00:26:29.574
He's probably, I know like no longer alive, but um.

00:26:29.574 --> 00:26:47.038
But I'm so grateful for that chapter because I think, like I love, you know, I love what I do in my career today and I also can't wait to someday take what I've built with my career and turn it into something down the road with horses and equine therapy.

00:26:47.078 --> 00:26:59.922
So it's incredible to me when I talk to people and and they tell me about whatever the, whatever the components were that kind of make them who they are and then they turn that into kind of their mission to be able to give back to the collective.

00:26:59.922 --> 00:27:01.557
You know, I think that that's what it's all about, right, totally.

00:27:01.557 --> 00:27:02.082
So I commend you for that.

00:27:02.082 --> 00:27:03.108
That's awesome, that's what it's all about right.

00:27:03.108 --> 00:27:03.871
Totally so.

00:27:03.871 --> 00:27:05.095
I commend you for that.

00:27:05.095 --> 00:27:06.439
That's awesome, thank you.

00:27:06.700 --> 00:27:07.060
Yeah.

00:27:07.730 --> 00:27:09.176
So then we're moving on from that.

00:27:09.176 --> 00:27:11.940
Do you still deal with anything associated with the eating disorder?

00:27:11.940 --> 00:27:14.398
Do you feel like that was really kind of a chapter that's closed now?

00:27:14.398 --> 00:27:21.300
I know some people it does just kind of resolve, and I know some people still deal with it, even if they're not active in it, you know.

00:27:26.589 --> 00:27:27.152
Yeah, I know that too.

00:27:27.172 --> 00:27:32.403
I've heard a lot of people's stories about how it just kind of lingers throughout the rest of their life, and so I feel fortunate that in my case I'm.

00:27:32.403 --> 00:27:49.775
You know that is a completely closed chapter for me and I yeah, I don't struggle with, you know, thoughts of control around food or I feel like I live a pretty balanced lifestyle now with my approach to exercise and nutrition.

00:27:49.775 --> 00:28:20.219
But I, I guess I'll say I did do my first, like exposure to creating a video and putting it on the internet and watching the power of a story was when I created a video called my survival story through anorexia and it it was the first time I saw something I created go viral on it went viral on YouTube and I just got thousands of comments and messages and a lot of them were negative.

00:28:20.338 --> 00:28:21.942
Like you know, just eat.

00:28:21.942 --> 00:28:24.073
Or you know, like people are terrible.

00:28:24.073 --> 00:28:25.838
Yeah, just like wrong with wrong with people.

00:28:25.838 --> 00:28:33.817
Yeah, but I, I loved it because I was like I know, this is engagement, so you just keep giving me all the hate and then, someone will back you up.

00:28:33.837 --> 00:28:35.624
That's a good perspective.

00:28:35.785 --> 00:28:36.005
But.

00:28:36.005 --> 00:28:38.592
But I had a lot of positive feedback from that too.

00:28:38.592 --> 00:28:49.852
And then I think through that I was like I had no idea that I could go viral and so I'm going to keep documenting and sharing my journey.

00:28:49.852 --> 00:28:58.878
I didn't know what was to come, but I just knew like I'd keep my camera in hand and document it and then see how it could help someone else.

00:28:58.878 --> 00:29:01.391
And it ended up connecting me to like.

00:29:01.391 --> 00:29:07.061
I met someone from Scotland who reached out to me and I visited her in Scotland.

00:29:07.061 --> 00:29:15.292
Since then she had an eating disorder growing up and just the power of connection, and so I feel lucky that.

00:29:15.292 --> 00:29:26.905
I mean, I wouldn't wish that on anyone, but I feel grateful for that experience because it opened my eyes to the ability of storytelling by just sharing your story.

00:29:27.170 --> 00:29:28.557
Yeah, and what that brings out.

00:29:28.557 --> 00:29:34.698
Like you said, the engagement with that or what that you know helps other people get curious about, or hearing your story, I mean.

00:29:34.698 --> 00:29:38.741
I just I think there's so much power to that, whatever engagement comes from it.

00:29:38.741 --> 00:29:43.857
I think people are assholes for saying things like, just eat, you know like also for me.

00:29:43.857 --> 00:29:50.752
I don't know why it goes back to this, but it's like when you're, when you're growing up and your mom says if you don't have anything nice to say you know, it's like just shut up.

00:29:51.193 --> 00:29:54.711
You know you can, if this isn't for you, go ahead and just change your channel, you know.

00:29:54.711 --> 00:30:06.905
But, um, but anyways, I'm glad that you have a nice perspective on that and can really see that from a that's engagement Cause for me I want to just tell those people to go fuck themselves yeah, totally we have different approaches no, I love that.

00:30:06.986 --> 00:30:16.423
I kind of I'll find some of the rudest ones, sure, and I'll respond with a really kind loving comment and I'll just be like sending so much light and love your way.

00:30:16.423 --> 00:30:18.094
Have a beautiful day.

00:30:18.094 --> 00:30:25.453
I'm a cancer survivor or something like that, like and just really make them feel bad, exactly it's like, and just suck it.

00:30:25.453 --> 00:30:26.435
Yeah, I love that.

00:30:26.435 --> 00:30:28.439
Fuck you with light and love.

00:30:28.898 --> 00:30:32.845
Yes, yes, yes, we're going to get t-shirts made for Jackie.

00:30:32.845 --> 00:30:34.453
Yes, fuck you with light and love.

00:30:34.513 --> 00:30:35.096
Totally.

00:30:35.597 --> 00:30:38.762
Yes, I think that was from Allie when we were in Sedona.

00:30:38.762 --> 00:30:39.829
Allie, yes.

00:30:40.170 --> 00:30:41.531
She said that phrase before.

00:30:41.531 --> 00:30:42.753
I've heard her say that it's from her.

00:30:42.753 --> 00:30:43.234
It's from her.

00:30:43.234 --> 00:30:44.297
I robbed her of that.

00:30:44.297 --> 00:30:48.241
Fuck you with light and love, and I just think that's lovely you know, because it's like.

00:30:49.022 --> 00:30:50.305
I'm not getting worked up about it.

00:30:50.305 --> 00:30:52.614
Light and love everywhere, but you're still an asshole.

00:30:52.653 --> 00:30:55.159
So Yep, yeah, there's that Totally.

00:30:55.159 --> 00:30:56.962
I love it Okay.

00:30:57.022 --> 00:31:15.211
So okay, so we got chasing that Because I think a lot of people aren't brave enough to do that.

00:31:15.211 --> 00:31:16.315
You know you fall into these.

00:31:16.315 --> 00:31:27.473
Okay, we have to have this regular job and like really plug into something I don't love doing and whatever, you're young for having your own business and really being able to do your own thing and what does that look like?

00:31:27.473 --> 00:31:29.259
I mean, that's, that's really incredible.

00:31:29.670 --> 00:31:30.092
Thank you.

00:31:30.092 --> 00:31:38.077
Yeah, I think that entrepreneurial spirit was like built into me when I was younger and it started with giving horse riding lessons.

00:31:38.077 --> 00:31:44.699
Like my parents weren't like try to find a way to make money, I was just like I love being being around horses.

00:31:44.759 --> 00:32:07.884
I bet I could like tell some of the girls in the neighborhood I'll give you a lesson for $20 an hour come over you know so but yeah, I feel fortunate to have found something I love doing and be able to monetize it and then also help other people do what they love by using my creative skill set too, and tell their stories.

00:32:07.884 --> 00:32:11.017
So, yeah, I love that, thanks.

00:32:12.319 --> 00:32:13.001
Okay.

00:32:13.001 --> 00:32:15.146
So we've gotten through that love that.

00:32:15.146 --> 00:32:17.953
That's not really something that drives you anymore, because I.

00:32:17.953 --> 00:32:23.435
It breaks my heart for people who still struggle with that as it rears its head over and over right.

00:32:23.435 --> 00:32:27.449
I think there's definitely root causes for stuff and being able to really get that out right.

00:32:27.449 --> 00:32:36.400
Thank God for Blue that you had that to be able to give to him, because I do believe that Like that to me is that makes perfect sense to me.

00:32:36.851 --> 00:32:43.517
And thank God those creatures are there to be able to help us through that stuff, because then that can just be part of your story instead of something that you actively have to fight all the time.

00:32:43.517 --> 00:32:46.029
So, and just be part of your story instead of something that you actively have to fight all the time you know, yeah.

00:32:46.029 --> 00:32:48.036
So okay, so we're going through.

00:32:48.036 --> 00:32:48.959
Now we've got that.

00:32:48.959 --> 00:32:50.394
What is what comes next?

00:32:50.394 --> 00:32:52.557
What's the next big challenge for Raisha.

00:32:52.990 --> 00:33:00.663
So okay, so this is an interesting kind of area of science that I would love to understand more of.

00:33:00.663 --> 00:33:23.460
But there seems to be a direct correlation between young girls who have severe eating disorders, or boys but I've only spoken to girls in this category and having that exposure at a young age to an eating disorder and later becoming an adult having a psychotic or manic break.

00:33:23.460 --> 00:33:42.663
And this my friend in Scotland, who I'm really close to, ended up having the same experience happen to her, had an eating disorder as a young girl and then later on dealt with psychosis, and so that was kind of the next chapter for me.

00:33:42.663 --> 00:34:00.301
I was in high school it was kind of junior senior year, about to get out there in the world, and started having these manic symptoms and like when you're in an eating disorder, you don't know what's going on until after the fact.

00:34:00.301 --> 00:35:01.936
And I think my parents were always kind of aware of my mental health struggles and kind of kept a close eye on me throughout my early years and they started seeing concerning symptoms and didn't know what was going on and those things were like hyperactive sex drive, overspending money which wasn't like me, because I'm a really great saver Like not eating a ton just because not eating disorder related, but just because, like staying up late, not getting enough sleep, your brain moving a million miles per hour, like textbook mania symptoms, and so, like senior year of high school, it got to the point where I had hit psychosis and needed to be hospitalized and ended up going through the whole psychiatric unit system again, which is broken in America.

00:35:01.936 --> 00:35:29.885
It's the worst setup and it's like you don't know how to help these people, so you put them in a psychiatric unit and so I went to an Arizona Banner Behavioral Center and had a psychotic episode, kind of they brought me down from psychosis with medication and ended up kind of being discharged, still struggling.

00:35:30.085 --> 00:36:30.090
But the next time I was about to go into psychosis I could feel it coming on and I was trying to fight it by like keeping the lights dim in my room, like not doing things that would stimulate my nervous system, all these things that were like I'm a senior in high school, I should be like doing what all the other people are doing and having a fun time, but I'm so scared about going into psychosis again and I ended up graduating from high school and going to a treatment center in Tucson for 30 days, and that's where I learned that I technically was diagnosed with bipolar, but not the typical bipolar where you swing from the highs and lows, the type of bipolar where you just hit the highs and so, um, I had two psychotic episodes and then experiences with lower doses of mania.

00:36:30.090 --> 00:36:49.273
But what's so interesting about this all is at that treatment center I learned all the tools, resources to live a happy and successful life with mental health challenges, but I never then had any psychotic episodes again or any manic symptoms.

00:36:49.273 --> 00:36:59.215
It was just like my junior senior year of high school, you know, got the help I needed and then I've had no symptoms of it since.

00:36:59.215 --> 00:37:02.478
So I have medication to take as needed.

00:37:03.159 --> 00:37:12.416
I it just knowing it's there is comforting to me, but I I try not to live in fear that I could have a psychotic break again.

00:37:12.416 --> 00:37:19.391
But it is by far the most scary, unreal experience and so, um.

00:37:19.391 --> 00:37:34.967
So yeah, I tell people I have bipolar, but it's such a unique, interesting case and I would love to understand more of the science behind the connection between malnutrition and, later on in life, some sort of psychotic break.

00:37:36.070 --> 00:37:46.380
Yeah, I think a lot of that stuff just the mental challenges that you've gone through as far as experiences that you've had a lot of that is probably interconnected, more so than we even understand.

00:37:46.380 --> 00:37:49.335
Yeah, that's interesting.

00:37:49.637 --> 00:37:52.545
Yeah, that's probably true, yeah, yeah.

00:37:53.250 --> 00:37:56.833
That's fantastic that you're able to like move through that.

00:37:56.833 --> 00:37:59.416
Do you find that you share your story with other people?

00:37:59.416 --> 00:38:09.887
Are you documenting that in your socials as well and other things, so that you can kind of share your experience with that too, or what does that look like for you?

00:38:21.789 --> 00:38:22.592
a lot of my mental health challenges.

00:38:22.592 --> 00:38:30.054
Um, I share it cause I had anxiety after I was dealing with the psychosis you know, in my after college and throughout college dealt with anxiety and, as I was, like you know, navigating the adult world.

00:38:30.054 --> 00:38:48.132
But I I'm super open and I feel like I share all sides of it and I think I haven't really fully processed everything that happened during the psychotic episodes, because it's a really scary place for me to go and I'm a big advocate for therapy.

00:38:48.132 --> 00:39:01.704
But I'm also like I've have seen so many therapists that I just feel like every time I reshare my story, like open up this box and box and I feel like I don't want to feel like the victim here.

00:39:01.704 --> 00:39:15.143
I'm so lucky to be where I'm at and therapy works and is great, but it's also like I find therapy through meditating or exercise being in nature, things like that.

00:39:15.811 --> 00:39:22.204
I think that's important for people to realize too, because I think a a lot of times now we've gotten to this place where therapy is more accepted.

00:39:22.204 --> 00:39:25.503
It wasn't, maybe when you were younger, even you.

00:39:25.503 --> 00:39:30.938
Even you saying that your parents went and got therapy was impressive to me, because it's more of a okay.

00:39:30.938 --> 00:39:56.360
Now it's, you know, becoming more accepted, but at the same time, it's not the end all be all you know, because a lot of times, yes, like get the tips and the tricks and the things that you're going to get from that and then be able to implement those so that you can run your life right, being in therapy for the rest of your life is not maybe the right move and I think a lot of people just think that that's what it is and it's like, no, we're supposed to unpack and kind of fix, yeah, but the things that you're saying of those are hard things to get into.

00:39:56.400 --> 00:40:12.201
As far as what happened during the psychosis and really just honoring your body for when you're ready to process that stuff, yeah, and when it does come up, being able to release it, so that it's not something that you're pushing back down and then, you know, trying to ignore or numb.

00:40:12.201 --> 00:40:20.556
I mean I think a lot of times when we go through things as younger people, we push things down and then we numb them because we don't want to deal with whatever they are.

00:40:20.556 --> 00:40:22.181
The things that you've been through.

00:40:22.181 --> 00:40:23.793
These are big things, you know.

00:40:23.793 --> 00:40:46.382
So you having the therapy and the tips and tricks and tools to be able to kind of navigate that and process that so healthy, I mean you're so fortunate to be able to have parents that were plugged into that and willing to get help and, you know, figure out topics that maybe they didn't understand and that's scary as a parent with daughters or kids in general that it's just like holy shit, I don't know what's happening.

00:40:47.010 --> 00:40:55.556
You feel so helpless you know, to be able to help with that, so I bet they just love watching where you are right now and being in a good place with stuff.

00:40:56.097 --> 00:40:57.197
Yeah, I mean, I hope so.

00:40:57.197 --> 00:40:58.219
I think they're well.

00:40:58.219 --> 00:41:02.065
They have told me they're proud of me and where I'm at, so that feels good.

00:41:02.065 --> 00:41:22.577
But I definitely, yeah, I have to say like there are parents out there still that don't think mental illness is a real thing, and so it's it's so I, yeah, constantly thank my lucky stars that they understood that this is real and our daughter needs help throughout all of our challenges.

00:41:22.577 --> 00:41:48.079
And then my younger brother, who dealt with anxiety like they were better equipped to help him because of my challenges, and I I think, yeah, if I could just have like a heart to heart with every parent who doesn't believe that mental illness is real and just try to say like you've got to understand the depths of this and believe in how real it is, because that's how you're going to help your child.

00:41:48.079 --> 00:41:51.012
I just wish I could tell them that yeah, no, you're not wrong.

00:41:51.072 --> 00:42:07.456
I mean, I think anxiety, specifically, is so much bigger than you can even get your head around you know, I didn't understand that because I just I never really dealt with that and I watched as I had kiddos that have dealt with different things where it was like crippling anxiety and I just didn't understand.

00:42:07.456 --> 00:42:13.420
You know, it was like I don't even know how to support you because I can't get my head around it.

00:42:13.420 --> 00:42:18.260
And so really being able to do some research and have conversations about what does that look like for you?

00:42:18.342 --> 00:42:27.001
you know, and and having that be something where they are telling me that they're not doing things, just normal things, because of anxiety being so crippling to them.

00:42:27.001 --> 00:42:35.916
I mean it just that feels, that feels terrible to have your, your kid, going through something where literally is limiting their life and making their lives miserable.

00:42:35.916 --> 00:42:39.103
How long do you still deal with anxiety?

00:42:39.103 --> 00:42:40.836
Do you feel like you have that under control?

00:42:40.836 --> 00:42:42.074
What does that look like for you?

00:42:42.074 --> 00:42:46.021
Because I know that that can kind of weasel its way in all sorts of different places.

00:42:46.369 --> 00:42:47.556
Yeah, that's a good question.

00:42:47.556 --> 00:43:06.903
I think today I have a really good balance on my mental health and I think, because of the challenges, even with anxiety, mental health and I think because of the challenges, even with anxiety, I live kind of a lifestyle that maybe some 20 year olds wouldn't be living.

00:43:06.903 --> 00:43:29.039
You know, I'm very it's very important to me to start my day like with an ice bath and like put myself into a panic mode and learn how to breathe through it and then, like, from there I like to meditate and do like whatever I can at the gym, you know, and like try to get some physical movement and and then I go about my work day, but like I don't.

00:43:29.039 --> 00:43:35.695
I don't drink or smoke, just not for religious reasons, just primarily to take care of my mental health.

00:43:35.695 --> 00:43:40.351
And I guess my idea of a fun night out wouldn't be a fun night out.

00:43:40.351 --> 00:43:46.871
It would be like a nice dinner with like an intimate setting, you know, and not going to a club.

00:43:46.911 --> 00:43:57.818
And I feel like I live this this way because I want to take care of my mental health and I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything because of it either.

00:43:57.818 --> 00:44:19.010
So I think I do have a good grip on my anxiety and I still have an open book with my open case with my psychiatrist and she'll see me like every six months and we have a medication I can take as needed and, like I said earlier, just knowing it's there gives me peace of mind.

00:44:19.010 --> 00:44:22.257
But I haven't taken it like in a year.

00:44:22.257 --> 00:44:33.244
I just I try to do everything I've been taught and shown on how I can better improve my mental wellbeing and just incorporate that into my life.

00:44:33.869 --> 00:44:34.954
You're, you're, I'm.

00:44:34.954 --> 00:44:49.963
Just the more we speak, speak the more impressed I am with you because, being 26 years old and really being able to understand the importance of taking care of your body, getting movement, you know you talk about ice baths and and you know meditation, and I love that your.

00:44:49.963 --> 00:44:55.307
Your ideal of a amazing night out includes like a nice dinner instead of drinking.

00:44:55.307 --> 00:44:57.034
You know I always people are like why don't you drink?

00:44:57.034 --> 00:44:57.074
I?

00:44:57.074 --> 00:44:58.139
I'm like why do you drink?

00:44:58.389 --> 00:45:01.012
Like tell me what adds value to your life, Because?

00:45:01.795 --> 00:45:12.353
what it looks like is that you're causing your own fucking tornado with all of this drama and shit that you bring in, because you're numbing, whatever it is that you don't want to deal with Again everyone do your own thing, that's not a place of judgment.

00:45:12.353 --> 00:45:17.702
I spent a lot of years drinking my fair share drinking more than my fair share, you know.

00:45:17.802 --> 00:45:19.364
So I get it.

00:45:19.364 --> 00:45:26.938
But I see the other side of that and it's like, yeah, my idea of a fun time is I have friends that come over and we do a breathwork session on Saturday.

00:45:26.938 --> 00:45:31.112
I'm like, hey, you guys want to come over and heal some childhood trauma, I'll have snacks.

00:45:31.112 --> 00:45:33.619
I love that, but you know what?

00:45:33.619 --> 00:45:39.414
These are my people right, like I'm not interested in going to the bars and being stupid and making shitty decisions.

00:45:39.414 --> 00:45:44.259
I'm interested in how am I going to really make this the best life that I possibly can?

00:45:44.659 --> 00:45:44.958
How am?

00:45:44.998 --> 00:45:50.864
I going to have the biggest impact on other, specifically women for me, but other people.

00:45:50.864 --> 00:45:54.626
My calling is to women, just because I think I have daughters.

00:45:58.510 --> 00:46:18.103
All of the things that are important to me about really helping women along, because I think we are so hard on ourselves and we haven't had the support and, um, yes, we've come a long way, you know, in the society, uh, and in evolution, but there's just so much more to do, and so it just takes women that are strong enough to be able to put their stories out there, or women that are, you know, brave enough to say hey, you guys want to come over and do the unpopular thing.

00:46:18.103 --> 00:46:23.485
We're going to do some breath work, yeah, but, um, but, yeah, that's it's to me that's the, that's the best.

00:46:23.505 --> 00:46:27.650
So for you to be 26 and say, yeah, I don't drink, I don't smoke, that's not my jam yeah.

00:46:27.650 --> 00:46:28.472
I love that.

00:46:28.733 --> 00:46:29.233
I love that.

00:46:29.233 --> 00:46:32.179
Yeah, for sure yeah, so, okay.

00:46:32.280 --> 00:46:33.563
So now we're at.

00:46:33.563 --> 00:46:35.927
God, tell me about cancer.

00:46:35.927 --> 00:46:46.110
I mean that's crazy town as well, like there's just all of these huge things that you've dealt with that the universe apparently thought you were up for handling.

00:46:46.150 --> 00:46:49.393
Yeah, yeah, okay.

00:46:49.393 --> 00:47:14.159
So I was in college, I went to, I was studying creative media and film at Northern Arizona University and I, you know, had finished going through the treatment center for my bipolar challenges, was so excited to be living in Flagstaff, arizona, because I'm a mountain girl, like love the mountains, it's my happy place.

00:47:14.159 --> 00:47:20.306
So I was there in my second year and wanted to study abroad.

00:47:20.306 --> 00:47:31.873
So I was named after a city in Italy where my dad lived for a little period and always knew I wanted to see Bracia, and so it just made sense for me to study abroad in Italy.

00:47:31.873 --> 00:47:41.405
So I had the opportunity to go for a semester to a town by Rome and study film in Italy.

00:47:41.405 --> 00:47:57.065
And I got to live alone in like the cutest little apartment, totally out of a movie, like didn't have an elevator, had to walk up these stairs, but just was so special and such a great experience.

00:47:57.065 --> 00:48:03.336
Just was so special and such a great experience.

00:48:03.336 --> 00:48:05.503
And no one spoke English in this town so I was like forced to learn the language.

00:48:05.503 --> 00:48:08.650
I mean, I'm not an expert, but I could get by and met great people, had a great time.

00:48:09.572 --> 00:48:19.217
And then I came home to America and had a routine physical with my doctor and she found swelling on the left side of my neck.

00:48:19.217 --> 00:48:27.972
And I think it's interesting looking back, because I look at photos of me when I was in Italy and I can clearly see the swelling.

00:48:27.972 --> 00:48:41.884
But I never saw it until she pointed it out, because when you kind of, when you look at yourself in the mirror, it's like your face and then like the body, like it's not just like, at least for me at that age I wasn't looking at my neck.

00:48:41.884 --> 00:48:51.230
So I, after the physical, had an ultrasound and I was like not concerned, I was like yeah, you're 20.

00:48:52.472 --> 00:48:52.914
I mean, you can't.

00:48:52.914 --> 00:48:55.661
The cancer word doesn't even come out in your mind when you're 20.

00:48:55.702 --> 00:48:57.958
Totally no family history of cancer.

00:48:57.958 --> 00:49:04.318
Just kind of like I wonder what they'll find, like it's not, it's nothing to be concerned about.

00:49:04.318 --> 00:49:06.809
Like no one even came with me to these appointments.

00:49:06.809 --> 00:49:21.094
Like I just went and I was like, yeah, and I remember telling my mom and she like looked at my neck and she's like, oh, that's not good, what does she think it is?

00:49:21.094 --> 00:49:22.097
And I'm like, oh, she doesn't know.

00:49:22.097 --> 00:49:25.365
And so after the ultrasound they recommended I go see your nose throat specialist.

00:49:25.365 --> 00:49:29.054
And then it started to like get a little bit more real.

00:49:29.054 --> 00:49:41.094
And my parents came with me to this appointment and I was in between semesters at college, but kind of gearing up to start my next semester, so going to these appointments.

00:49:41.094 --> 00:49:45.063
And then he's like we're going to need to do a surgical biopsy.

00:49:45.063 --> 00:49:49.201
And I was just like, hey, this is weird.

00:49:49.201 --> 00:49:56.737
And I remember coming out of the surgical biopsy knowing that they were going to be testing my lymph nodes, they were going to pull out.

00:49:56.829 --> 00:50:06.380
I just imagine, like these little circular lymph nodes, but I didn't know what they looked like and they pull them out and someone's going to look at them and see if it's cancer.

00:50:06.380 --> 00:50:25.543
And so you know, I had this like neck brace on, they like cut into there, and went home eventually, got to take the bandages off and then had an office visit with the doctor and he walked in and was like great news, you have Hodgkin's lymphoma cancer.

00:50:25.543 --> 00:50:27.693
And I was like why is?

00:50:27.753 --> 00:50:29.155
that I was like what is?

00:50:29.556 --> 00:50:31.900
what's and he's like, and let me explain.

00:50:31.900 --> 00:50:43.605
It's the cancer you would want to have in this family, because there's something called non-Hodgkin's lymphoma and the chance of someone surviving that is much slimmer.

00:50:43.869 --> 00:51:00.170
So this is the cancer you want to have and I was like holy shit, what a weird way to bring that into this room and how you said it and I didn't cry, I just kind of sat there and I was like oh no, like what does this mean?

00:51:00.170 --> 00:51:06.242
I, I the initial questions come through your head, like how long do I have?

00:51:06.242 --> 00:51:07.630
What will I lose?

00:51:07.630 --> 00:51:08.813
My what's going to?

00:51:08.934 --> 00:51:10.016
happen Am, I am.

00:51:10.217 --> 00:51:12.302
I is my hair going to, like what's going to happen?

00:51:12.302 --> 00:51:21.951
And um, I think at that point I was you kind of especially with not having a family history of cancer.

00:51:21.951 --> 00:51:33.980
You kind of watch movies about cancer, like the fault in our stars, or, and you just think, oh, I feel so bad for them, but that will never happen to me, like that's not, that's not going to happen to me.

00:51:33.980 --> 00:51:40.592
And so I remember leaving that room with my parents and they were like, how are you doing?

00:51:40.592 --> 00:51:45.862
Like I hadn't started crying, or, and we went out to dinner.

00:51:45.862 --> 00:51:49.961
I like hardly ate Cause I just was like in shock, I couldn't believe it.

00:51:49.961 --> 00:51:55.195
And then that night went back to their home and I just looked in the mirror.

00:51:55.195 --> 00:52:07.733
I remember putting on the Queen song who Wants to Live Forever, and just like looking in the mirror and just sobbing and I was like, oh my like have I done everything I wanted to do with my life?

00:52:07.733 --> 00:52:08.476
I did.

00:52:08.576 --> 00:52:20.733
I, you know, because there's kind of this gap where it's like a lot of childhood cancer and then after you know, like older, you know a lot of childhood cancer and then after you know, like older you know a lot of different cancers come up later in life.

00:52:20.733 --> 00:52:25.391
But there's this gap where it's like young adults don't really get cancer right.

00:52:25.391 --> 00:52:34.070
But, um, yeah, that's that's how I found out I had cancer and then from there, kind of it all began.

00:52:34.070 --> 00:52:58.340
I went kind of around interviewing different oncologists and ended up finding my team at the Mayo Clinic and saw an oncologist there who was actually a leukemia survivor herself and she took me on as a patient and we began chemotherapy and I did lose most of my hair.

00:52:58.340 --> 00:53:09.057
I got a port and got my chemo that way and it was a really tricky, hard time in my life.

00:53:10.219 --> 00:53:15.393
So, yeah, that's, but I will say I don't.

00:53:15.393 --> 00:53:22.570
I know everyone's story is different, but I they found it when I was in the early phases.

00:53:22.570 --> 00:53:26.059
So I'm so lucky that they found it when they did.

00:53:26.059 --> 00:53:37.663
And I do remember looking around during treatment and looking at all the other a lot of women in the room and just being like I don't have it as bad as them.

00:53:37.663 --> 00:53:42.940
I'm so lucky and I'm so sorry for what they're going through.

00:53:42.940 --> 00:53:51.460
And now I can relate to them on a whole new level, because before it was just if you have a mental health challenge, let's talk.

00:53:51.460 --> 00:53:53.414
And I want to listen, I want to hear your story.

00:53:53.414 --> 00:53:59.583
But now it's like, if you've had cancer, cancer, mental health, challenge, I'm here for you.

00:53:59.583 --> 00:54:08.137
Like let's, let's lean on each other, because this is a whole nother ballpark yeah, well, that's incredible that you turn it into that, though, too.

00:54:08.157 --> 00:54:14.456
I mean, that's a powerful perspective instead of doing the whole like poor me and why did this happen to me?

00:54:14.456 --> 00:54:17.612
It's looking around and saying, god, it could be so much worse.

00:54:17.612 --> 00:54:19.255
I'm grateful that it isn't.

00:54:19.255 --> 00:54:20.759
I'm grateful that we caught it early.

00:54:21.239 --> 00:54:22.242
You know, I, I.

00:54:22.422 --> 00:54:31.275
One of the things that's so incredibly important to me, that I preach all the time, is having a gratitude journal practice, and it can be, you know, however you do it right.

00:54:31.275 --> 00:54:47.038
It can be in a notebook, it can be on your phone, it can be stuff that you say, but I think, when you come from this place of gratitude, and that's what you're searching for, and that's what you're looking for Because, yeah, we all have stories, right, we all have shit that's messed up, but that's what it is, it's part of your story.

00:54:47.038 --> 00:55:00.576
And so, when you're able to really take that and make that good and then also be grateful for the things that you do have, even if it's I have the not as bad cancer, you know I have the not as bad cancer, you know, I mean it's still.

00:55:00.576 --> 00:55:09.119
I mean that's that's powerful because you're keeping that positive uh, you know attitude towards things, yeah, that's that's really powerful and it sends a message to everybody else that's around you too, right?

00:55:09.170 --> 00:55:25.940
Then you're able to really shine your light and be that for other people where they look and say, yeah, I can do that too, yeah Well, yeah, I mean, and I don't always have that mindset, but, um, yeah, definitely felt the lows throughout that entire cancer journey too.

00:55:25.940 --> 00:55:29.856
But, um, I tried not to play the victim role.

00:55:30.336 --> 00:55:30.498
And.

00:55:31.039 --> 00:55:42.432
I think you know when I felt the shittiest after treatment and just wanted to sleep or curl up in a ball or watch Game of Thrones and just do nothing, like I.

00:55:42.432 --> 00:55:50.512
Also, I think those were the moments where I look back and I'm like that's after I beat cancer.

00:55:50.512 --> 00:55:53.255
I wanted to start a podcast.

00:55:53.255 --> 00:55:56.280
I wanted to give people a platform to share their stories.

00:55:56.280 --> 00:55:59.846
I knew I don't know how long I have.

00:55:59.846 --> 00:56:01.556
I want to do more.

00:56:01.556 --> 00:56:08.351
I'm not like I mean, I just like there's been so many amazing guests so far on your podcast.

00:56:08.351 --> 00:56:26.523
But I think you know, through everything, it's like when you have a massive health crisis or challenge, it's like you just don't know how long you have and it gives you this new perspective on life and you have to fulfill your purpose, find your purpose, follow, chase your passions.

00:56:26.603 --> 00:56:31.971
I mean you have to make money and unfortunately, sadly, that's what it takes to keep the world going around.

00:56:31.971 --> 00:56:39.961
But yeah but I totally get it Figuring out a way to do that while you're still making enough money to kind of keep food on the table but, do what drives you do what?

00:56:39.961 --> 00:56:43.052
Is is your passion, because we don't know how many days we get.

00:56:43.132 --> 00:56:56.876
Yeah, right, I know there's that invisible imaginary clock, that's just ticking and so it's like I just always, you know, even if I see a cute guy in public, you know, I'm like just 20 seconds of insane courage, you know.

00:56:56.876 --> 00:57:04.306
Know, just always say what you feel and just don't leave anything unspoken, because that's that.

00:57:04.306 --> 00:57:06.010
You just don't have time to regret things.

00:57:06.210 --> 00:57:09.557
I love that so much 20 seconds of insane courage.

00:57:09.998 --> 00:57:12.784
That is from a movie, from we Bought a Zoo.

00:57:12.784 --> 00:57:17.942
I can't take that as my own quote, but I swear that I live by that quote.

00:57:17.942 --> 00:57:18.972
Now you know it just.

00:57:18.972 --> 00:57:28.378
The quote is sometimes all you need is 20 seconds of insane courage and I promise you something great will come of it, and I think that's so powerful.

00:57:28.378 --> 00:57:31.838
And if, yeah, it was my iPhone wallpaper for a while.

00:57:31.838 --> 00:57:43.351
Yes, ma'am, yes ma'am, I have full body chills right now, I think if more of us lived that way, right Like that's a powerful statement.

00:57:43.791 --> 00:57:44.831
God that feels good.

00:57:44.972 --> 00:57:48.114
Love, that I do too, I'm going to steal that?

00:57:48.114 --> 00:57:49.735
One, yeah, for sure.

00:57:49.916 --> 00:57:57.503
Because also, like when you talk to you know, for me I'm older and I have years and years and years under my belt of being a courageous asshole.

00:57:57.503 --> 00:57:59.925
That's what I bring to the table.

00:57:59.925 --> 00:58:22.744
But you know, I look at like stuff with my daughters or stuff with my kids and I really want them to be able to do those bold things and not kind of get painted into this corner of not doing the hard things, because that's where the good stuff comes from you know, I bet you're never disappointed when you do that, no matter how it comes down you know, yeah, totally never disappointed when you do that, no matter how it comes down you know, yeah, totally 20 seconds of insane courage um tell me what you do now and how we find you.

00:58:22.764 --> 00:58:25.373
We're gonna have to wrap up, but tell me about your podcast.

00:58:25.373 --> 00:58:31.443
Tell, tell me how other people would find your marketing company if they're in arizona, or do you service other places outside of arizona?

00:58:31.523 --> 00:58:36.452
tell me, tell me about what you're doing now yeah, so I'm based out of phoenix, ari.

00:58:36.452 --> 00:58:45.458
I do travel for clients, but I am growing my boutique marketing agency and you can learn about it at checkerjagwirecom.

00:58:45.458 --> 00:58:51.141
I do professional grade videography photography for brands businesses.

00:58:51.141 --> 00:58:53.744
I help with social media management management.

00:58:53.744 --> 00:59:01.375
A big driving force and kind of selling point with my clients is it's not just creative work, it's strategic work.

00:59:01.375 --> 00:59:13.291
So I, you know, work closely with clients, give them monthly analytics and just love helping brands, businesses, individuals tell their story in a creative and strategic way.

00:59:13.291 --> 00:59:21.684
So, yeah, I'm always looking to bring new clients on work with different niches and just help them grow in the digital landscape.

00:59:21.929 --> 00:59:24.518
I love that, I love that and then tell me about your podcast.

00:59:24.518 --> 00:59:25.601
How do people find that.

00:59:25.601 --> 00:59:41.257
So my podcast is also called Checker Jaguar and it's on Spotify and Apple podcast and it's kind of a similar concept to this show about, you know, just having the difficult and vulnerable conversations and normalizing those.

00:59:41.257 --> 00:59:45.590
So I've had a lot of really neat guests on sharing their story.

00:59:45.590 --> 00:59:51.010
But being on your show today has been really special because I'm generally not the one being interviewed.

00:59:51.050 --> 00:59:51.992
So it's weird.

00:59:51.992 --> 00:59:52.996
I know.

00:59:52.996 --> 01:00:01.496
I went on Chrissy Mays podcast several weeks ago and it's a totally different vibe when you're in the hot seat, I know it's like I'm not the one asking the questions.

01:00:01.496 --> 01:00:03.851
I'm like she could ask anything and I'm the answer.

01:00:03.871 --> 01:00:18.983
So let's just see where this goes, I know yeah, I wasn't nervous so much for this, but it was just like an interesting shift because it gives me perspective on what it's like to be in the chair, you know, like getting the questions asked to you.

01:00:19.264 --> 01:00:21.525
Well, I think that's powerful work and I'm glad that you're doing that.

01:00:21.545 --> 01:00:23.746
You're wise beyond your years for being 26.

01:00:28.251 --> 01:00:35.235
I love to see it because a lot of times you look around and it's like God some of these young people don't have it figured out, but it's lovely to run across some of you that seem like you're on the right path.

01:00:35.235 --> 01:00:40.501
You know Thanks, and I think that makes me sound 100, too, just so you know Like some of the young people don't have it figured out.

01:00:40.501 --> 01:00:42.141
We're going to work through that.

01:00:42.141 --> 01:00:43.422
I don't want to feel 100.

01:00:43.583 --> 01:00:45.644
You don't look 100, that's for sure.

01:00:45.644 --> 01:00:47.106
Thank you so okay.

01:00:47.126 --> 01:00:49.467
Well, that is our time for today, thank you.

01:00:49.467 --> 01:00:58.780
Yeah, I was thinking the may I suggest, and then I forgot what that was going to be because I'm running on empty right now, but there was something very important.

01:00:58.780 --> 01:01:00.463
I'm sure you guys will pick it up as you're listening.

01:01:00.463 --> 01:01:03.677
If you have questions or suggestions, send us an email.

01:01:03.677 --> 01:01:06.878
Our email address is ladies at letsgetnakedpodcastcom.

01:01:06.878 --> 01:01:12.679
And then please do all the things to support the pod Follow, share, rate and review, and we will catch you next time.01:01:12.679 --> 01:01:23.971


That's a wrap around.01:01:23.971 --> 01:01:26.097


I'd love to help you get vulnerable.01:01:26.097 --> 01:01:26.498


Let's get naked.